Yet another case of a religious leader abusing his power has finally got to court. This time a former Church of England priest, Christopher Brain, originally charged with one count of rape and 36 counts of indecent assault between 1981 and 1995 against 13 women: "he is a devious and arrogant sexual predator who caused these women significant harm through his abuse of power and cruel manipulation of their faith" it was reported.
We can't help but have an awareness of the prevalence of religion or a connection to a religion and trauma. This is in fact something we have been working through ourselves over the past months...years, which we'll explain a little of here.
So, let's rewind, what is Religion anyway? The Oxford English Dictionary says, 'the belief in and worship of a superhuman power or powers, especially a God or gods'. It also offers 'a particular system of faith and worship'. Okay, but let's look further, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary says: 'a personal set or institutionalised system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practice'. Here we see the first mention of institutions, attitudes, and practices.
For us, this is where religion and faith perhaps differ. Where religion can (and we mean can, as we are acutely aware that many religious institutions stand firm against abuse) allow perpetrators opportunity to manipulate and cover abuse. They can utilise the hierarchical structures of the institution and the supposed religious practice to allow them to convince younger, newer, or more isolated members that their abuse is not only okay but justified, accepted by the "religion".
I look to Christiane Sanderson (the author of The Spirit Within) to offer us a definition of religious sexual abuse: "the abuse of power and authority in which the abuser uses his or her religious authority and status to exert unquestioning obedience through fear of spiritual punishment in this life or in the afterlife" - translate that to a child's mind...the most innocent, the most unknowing, the most God-fearing...
Faith is a more personal and relationship-based interaction between an individual and the God or higher being they are worshipping. There is no organised structure, rules, and hierarchy, which limits the opportunity for manipulative practices.
For me, you can't get much lower than using 'God', the 'highest' power as your 'co-conspirator' when we are talking about the abuse of a child within a religious setting. 'God' is used as the excuse; that God has allowed it, and because that religious leader "has the grace" it is condoned, by them; and potentially by the community that witnesses it, because they daren't go against the powers they feel that leader has.
All sexual abuse, in my book, is about POWER, not sex. It uses sex as the means of abuse and it creates the intended MIND FUCK; where, when it comes to a child, freeze is the only survival response possible. They are not big enough to fight or get away - flight - and this means that the trauma has not been 'released' (through fighting or running) - instead it typically resurges as embarrassment, guilt, shame, blame, TOXIC shame within that child's being for...how long?!
Why are we raising this? Well, personally we have been unpicking many years of religious trauma. Teaching which was not only false but has created a path of vulnerability and exposure to multiple abusers as the original Sunday School Teacher/Youth Leader utilised his position of power to manipulate The Bible teaching ensuring that the child he would abuse would never know he was wrong. This is sadly not an isolated story; we hear far too often about those abused or traumatised within religious settings and communities. Trauma often made worse by those communities' unwillingness to act.
Christiane Sanderson, again (The Spirit Within): "a child can never fully escape the abuser, especially if they are a significant figure in the child's life such as a priest, nun, or lay minister who has power and authority over them. In the presence of the abuse the child is powerless and feel helpless...this feeling of submission often haunts the survivor, leaving the survivor feeling ashamed that he or she did not do more to prevent the sexual assault".
A statement that I have heard in the counselling room TOO MANY times. That "mind fuck" that I referred to earlier; to have it that those who have been abused almost silence themselves because they fear that THEY will be held (somehow!) responsible for the childhood sexual abuse inflicted.
That they will not be believed...let alone, as Carolyn Spring opened my eyes to years ago, "I didn't have the words to tell" - where do you begin, as a child, to voice...when you're not even sure what's going on, let alone form a sentence in respect of it?!
The message is clear to us, faith is possible without religion. You do not have to reject or be rejected by both. Equally if you feel unsettled by teachings you have received in a religious setting, question it: research, ask people, don't feel that you must accept what you hear. If you have been abused within a religious setting, we're so sorry. You are not alone. If you haven't already asked for help, please do, it's never too late to start to heal. I know, I'm trying.
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