What are you doing to connect with your inner child? That can sound like a BIG question or request, but sometimes it really is the small stuff. Anyone who follows us on social media knows, that we do lots of small things that help us feel that connection, nurture that little one within. And I mean small stuff – Smarties anyone? Blowing bubbles occasionally? Yep it really is about just acknowledging things they loved.
Sometimes it can be bigger, taking time out to go somewhere, see something, feel something that really gets you attuned to them. Whether that is a certain place, being near trees, water, animals – whatever – the peace that can bring!
So where does that reluctance come from? Because for so many of us there is a reluctance if we are being honest. To hear them, see them, give them what they want. We believe we are far too busy being adult to attend to the needs of a younger version of ourselves.
Why? Does it come from a belief that they “shouldn’t” be there “shouldn’t” have needs? I can only speak for myself and say that was definitely part of my story. I didn’t want to acknowledge a younger part of myself that had needs – after all I was an adult now and had stuff to do. They had their time and I didn’t need them anymore!
And having needs makes you (I) vulnerable; isn’t that the way it goes…? And for that to be the needs of a younger self?! Dangerous, surely!!
I have had clients who actively blame and, very sadly, hate their inner child for what was done TO them as that child; one particular client referred to their younger self as “the terrorist” - such was the bad feeling.
I’ve been told that they “haven’t got an inner child anymore, she left!” But was that because it was ‘easier’ to deny, rather than ‘befriend?’ Said client found her ‘little one’ again (she was always there - my client hadn’t wanted to find her, face her…) and now she has a very healthy relationship with her (I’m really pleased to say).
“Just notice” and “acknowledge” are the ‘magic’ words that I always say to people.
Like the above client, I was wrong! Little did I know that far from being a burden, the inner child has so much quality to add to our lives, if we let them. The wonder that we see around us – that comes from them, the inquisitive nature we have at times – them too! Would I as the task driven adult stop to marvel at the sound of the sea, or the beauty of the light hitting the cliffs – nope, she does that. She stops me and says – “look!” so now I do.
One of my favourite quotes comes from Lael Stone: “If you were told from the very beginning that childhood defines adult mental health, we would take care to be more loving of a child’s soul” - Yowza! How different would the world be if we were ‘taught’ that at school and went on to live…breathe it?!
More and more, for me, it’s TASTE that is my “way in” to my inner child, see my (The Sidmouth Counsellor)/our (Transcend Trauma) Instagram: (the pink!) French Fancy; Coco Pops and that tube of Smarties! I’m so aware that there was a hot chocolate pudding from my childhood (I’m guessing, chocolate custard?!) that I need to find again, need to taste, because I have a memory of that taste bringing me happiness.
Interesting, that memory brings emotion for me, which is my ‘clue’ that it is her - because that time was simpler in so many ways, and she feels pleased that I am acknowledging that (the child reacts…the adult responds…thank you Samantha Lee).
It really is that simple, letting your inner child add value to your life is just about opening your heart to them, letting them show you the world through their eyes and offering them nurture and kindness. So, again I ask, what have you done to nurture your inner child lately? Okay, so what are you going to do?
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