Those of you who follow our socials will know that last weekend did not go as planned! After a lot of anticipation we travelled to Birmingham to see a concert which was cancelled less than an hour before it was due to start. We were acutely aware at that point we had a choice – to become disappointed and feel that our weekend was wasted, or to somehow spin it and make the best of a bad situation.
Us being us, we decided we would do everything we could to make the situation better. This involved a late night Greggs, some chocolate, some good laughs and quality time just away from the busy-ness of everyday life. It helped that The Murphy Dog was an absolute star and provided entertainment.
Geraldine went on to hope and that was rewarded when she finally got to see Benson Boone on Monday in London. Yeah, sure it was sad that we missed the show together (Cathy couldn’t make London), and if we are totally honest G’s journey to London was far from straight forward! But at least the perseverance paid off and she got to enjoy the show.
So, of course, we got to thinking, when things don’t go as planned, what do we do? Do we assume that this is somehow our fault, that we didn’t deserve to have something good in the first place? Because I know that in general, that is the way I respond. I tend to look negatively and think that somehow things were my fault because I dared to hope. But if we take a step back from those automatic negative thoughts and challenge them for a moment, how realistic is it to think those things?
The truth is that bad, annoying and disappointing things happen. They happen to us all at different times. It is okay to be upset and disappointed when things don’t happen that you were looking forward to. But to turn that inwards and blame ourselves or feel that we shouldn’t have hoped, that is where we need to make changes. We need to look forward to things.
G was totally uncertain about going to London, there had been no announcement of whether the show would go ahead, and would this be yet another 2 days of travel for no reason – but there was hope, or why would she have bothered? She made a conscious decision to make a back up plan so that the hours of travel were not wasted, that should the show be cancelled again there was an alternate purpose she could pursue. Again, this would not make up for missing the event, but would give her back control and purpose.
We need to believe that we can turn things around. Okay, Saturday wasn’t the night we had planned, and yes, we would have preferred to go to the concert. But did we still have a good weekend – yep! We decided to enjoy ourselves anyway, and that is the key point. We made a decision that despite circumstances, we were going to make it good.
G was still unsure about the event on Monday until Mr Boone posted an update 1 hour before on his socials. The uncertainty in her was reflected in others attending the event, coloured by what had happened in Birmingham, people had lost confidence and wanted reassurance. How often are we seeking reassurance because of things we see and experience around us causing us to lose confidence in ourselves or others.
Can you decide to take the control back when things are going wrong and make some decisions that will lead to a better outcome? Can you offer yourself reassurance and have alternate plans in place to offer yourself some contingency and comfort?
G decided to go to London and hope that the gig wasn’t going to be cancelled, and despite the doubt in her mind, she dared and was rewarded. She had a great night. How about you, what can you dare to hope for, knowing that you can decide to make things good if things go wrong?
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