Valentines? “Galentines” (where you celebrate the female friendships in your life)? Or do you just bury your head and hope it passes?
A friend of mine used to celebrate Anti-Valentine’s Day (she made badges and everything) – I hope she still does! Her sentiments behind it were pretty much exactly what you are about to read about…
How do you feel about a day to celebrate love? It can be complicated can’t it, depending on where you are in your life and who you have in your world I guess? What if you are alone or single, or recently found yourself alone after a relationship has ended or your partner has died? What about if you are in a relationship, but feel alone anyway? Like we said, complicated!
Let’s be honest Valentines Day is a commercial concept, designed to make us spend money, and go out and spend more on a night out than it would likely cost on another day – or is that just me being cynical?
But let’s think about love, love for others and love for yourself – yes I said that! For years I heard people say that you can’t love others unless you love yourself and I thought that was rubbish, there was no way I was ever loving myself! I’m not sure I agree with that sentiment still. But I think, over lots of time, and therapy, I have come to a place where I care about myself, and that is good enough.
I also think that when you have positive relationships in your life it makes it easier to treat yourself with care and love. I have found that when I love others it reflects back on me and makes me care for myself too. I guess when you surround yourself with love and positivity that becomes your natural language, rather than criticism and negativity.
What does love mean to you anyway? For us it means to be deeply cared for and to have a connection with someone that enhances both of your lives. Love can be anything from romantic partner love to platonic friend love. It can be love that you have for anyone in your life, or they have for you. It should be something that is positive. We believe that it is important to express love, not just on Valentine’s Day, but whenever you feel you want to.
For some people, this day will mean nothing, or it may be a reminder of something awful. For one of us it is the anniversary of a traumatic incident, but this year we are choosing to change that narrative, to make it a positive day and to rewrite that script. If this is true for you we would encourage you to do something different, make a change and reclaim some ground.
Wherever you are in your relationships this Valentine’s Day, can we suggest that you think about the love that you *do* have in your life, whether that be for your partner, your parents, your children, your friends, or even your pets – frankly sometimes they’re the easiest to love! Can you also spare some time to do something loving for yourself, whatever that looks like for you, it could be a movie, a hot bath, quality time with friends, whatever makes you feel cared for.
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