We don't know about you, but we found the news that Ann Widdecombe had been murdered on the 8th July in her own home deeply shocking. There was so many things that this caused us to think about, and we wanted to explore some of those here.
Firstly, Ann lived less than 40 miles away from where we are. There was something in that which made it feel personal. She lived in a quiet rural village where she should have felt safe and secure. And yet, she was neither of those things.
I think though, the thing that is really hard to comprehend, was that she was a 78 year old lady, attacked in her own home while eating her lunch. She was working throughout the day, and was taking a short break, when she was brutally attacked. How vulnerable must she have felt in that moment. Unarmed, unprepared, and alone. She stood no chance against someone who had planned to do her harm. Now, you may or may not have agreed with her politics or views, but does that really matter? Does anyone deserve to feel that vulnerable and scared?
In the days that came afterwards, it was interesting to hear people justifying their feelings with the caveat of "I didn't agree with her" as if that actually matters. The reality is, this is an older lady who was murdered, and that is tragic.
There was definitely something for many people about feeling vulnerable and exposed. A sense of, if someone like Ann, a forthright and formidable woman, was overcome in her own home, then are any of us safe?
That inevitably got us thinking, how do we handle vulnerability? For C, she does not even like the word! For a long time it was simply referred to as feeling a bit "V" It felt that acknowledging vulnerability was somehow risky and potentially made you more exposed.
But you can't run from vulnerability, it is there and in some respects, the more you try to hide from it the more vulnerable you become. One way of looking at it is, if you don't acknowledge your blind spots, your fears or weaknesses, then they grow.
So how can you handle it? I guess the best thing to do is "just notice" We talk about that a lot. Just noticing feelings or sensations, allowing them to be and acknowledging them without becoming overwhelmed or consumed by them. It is easier said than done to begin with, but as you practice it becomes easier and more natural. Embrace all parts of yourself, even those that feel difficult would be the advice we would offer.
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