This one has taken a little while to write, because the feelings are deep and complicated. The death of Dolly Parton hit me hard, like it did for people across the world. So, I took a little time to sit with that feeling, and to explore where that came from, and if I'm being honest, whether I actually felt it was justified to feel that way at all.
I (C) am a big country music fan, so have followed Dolly most of my life. She was the “Queen of Country” and the one who paved the way for many of the female country artists who came after her. I have a huge respect for that, for being someone carved out a career in the 60s and 70s which was essentially a male dominated era.
Alongside that, and perhaps one of the things I have come to realise this week, is that my Nanna loved country music. As a young girl, I remember hours of listening to Patsy Cline and Dolly Parton at my Nanna’s house, and her singing along. My Nanna was an amazing singer (she used to sing to the troops) and it was magical hearing her. As she grew older, listening to her sing was a sure sign that she was happy, so it made me happy. Dolly’s music brings that memory.
Because music can do that, good music can anyway. It can evoke emotion, take you to places and memories that make you feel how you did then. Dolly was the ultimate lyricist, she could write music that made you cry, made you smile, made you feel all kinds of things. She took her life experiences and she shared them with us through her music.
Dolly knew how to celebrate life. She had a tough start, but she only ever used it to build herself and others up. She never forgot where she came from, and she worked hard to give back to the community that she felt gave her so much. She created the “Imagination Library” because she was acutely aware that her Father had never had the opportunity to learn to read, and wanted to give as many children as possible the chance to enjoy reading and books. She knew how to take challenges or difficulties and turn them into strengths and positives.
She saw humanitarian problems, and quietly did what was needed to fill gaps. It has been written that this was what she excelled at, noticing, noticing what needed to be done, and getting on and doing it. Whether that was funding a vaccination program, disaster relief efforts or medical research funds, she was proactive in supporting people when they needed it the most.
Beyond all that, she was generous with her time and her talent. Many younger musicians will talk about how she gave them time and offered them guidance, which was priceless. Dolly knew and loved people. She was a rare gem, and we will miss her.
In the days following the news of her death, so much has been said and written about collective grief. I have to admit, this has felt raw and personal to me, and then I have struggled with feeling guilty that I am not entitled to feel that way, as I never knew her, she was not in my life personally, and there are so many people who have far more “right” to that grief than me. So, what is that about? It is to do with what I have shared here, the role someone can play in your life, despite never meeting them. We probably all have icons, whether they are celebrities, musicians, actors, people that have been familiar voices and faces in our lives for many years, and who feel like they belong. The list will look different for every individual, but some of the names for those in the UK, would be people such as David Attenborough, David Jason, Judi Dench, Ian McKellan… you get the idea. People who have been in our lives for as long as we can remember, who evoke good memories and emotions. Dolly was the top of that list for me.
Her family have spoken out about how they feel supported by the world sharing in their grief and how they are finding that the shared emotion brings comfort. And, there’s the truth, that it is absolutely OK to feel however you feel. All emotions are valid. That actually sharing and feeling that feeling, can be healing and bring healing to others. So is it OK to feel grief or loss for someone you didn’t know? Absolutely it is.
To sum this up, I guess the biggest thing that has hit me this week, is that people from every walk of life, from all nations and political persuasions, have nothing but good things to say about Dolly. No one has a message of “she wasn’t that nice to me.” She was apparently genuine and kind to everyone she met. She talked about understanding that people got her to where she was, and that she respected that. Her legacy is huge, her message was clear, be kind, be authentic and remember your roots. Thank you for it all Dolly!
Add comment
Comments